Little Lies

Delaney, if you ever read this – I totally lied to you. Your earrings did not get infected. They were completely fine. But, I paid someone to pierce them who obviously had a little bit of a problem walking in a straight line. Because they were completely off. And you could tell. Not at first, but as soon as I pointed it out to people it’s all we focused on. So then my mind started jumping years down the road, and I would always just see this sweet little face with two misshaped earrings. So I panicked and made up the infection lie.

I guess now that I am cleaning the air- here’s a little list off the top of my head of all the lies I have told you so far…

Your teacher is not working on a poster to put at the front of the room with names of kids that still sleep with their parents. That’s just my last resort.

I don’t stay up late to do laundry and clean the house every night – some nights I just sit on the couch, eat ice cream and catch up on the shows I have missed all week.

I’m pretty sure you haven’t been invited to a play date with your little friend because I “accidentally” flipped her mom off in car line.

They didn’t cancel dance – I just forgot to sign you up.

I tell you that your hair looks the best when it’s just brushed because I have absolutely no idea how to fix girls hair. My braids look like you just fixed your own hair.

You weren’t the sweetest baby ever. You cried non-stop and I could never put you down. It was intense.

And now here’s my list of truths…

I am absolutely in love with who you are. And I am terrified of raising you because I see all of your amazing potential and I know that you are capable of running the world with the right guidance, tools and opportunities.  I constantly second guess myself. I love that you need me so much, but I push you away at times so that you can build your independence. I hate when you cry but I love when you turn to me with your tears. I would want to be your friend if I were five. I hope you still want to be my friend when you are 25.

I’m sorry I chose the “free piercing with the purchase of earnings” deal and didn’t go to a better place. Next time I’ll make better choices.



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